This poem has inspired me since I saw the film 'G.I. Jane' for the first time. Yeah, I know, it's not the type of film one would expect a valuable lesson from. Behind it's macabre story, hides a lesson we should take to heart.
Especially during the editing process fear is a menacing phantom clouding my judgement. Fear of rejection; fear of not meeting deadlines; fear that people won't like my novel; fear that I will disappoint everyone, including myself. Fear is pathetic, really. However, it's necessary to keep us fighting.
I asked Ksenia Anske about how to crowdsource an editor. Her answer disarmed my armour of fear. In her serious, but cynical voice, she told me the truth which I needed to remember.
Thank you, Ksenia for your passionate answer to my question. You show me with every blog post you write that life is dramatic, it's funny, and it's full of doubts. I WILL ASK FOR HELP, just like you said I should. If no one answers my outcry, then I will still continue my mission to inspire readers with my stories. I won't let fear get in the way ever again. I guess it's fine to be afraid, but it matters how long you allow yourself to be afraid.
WHEN I WAS A BOY
When I was a boy I had dreams. Nothing could stop me from dreaming. Whenever I had the chance for some quiet, the world opened up inside my head. I was alone in my belief that I would make great things happen in my lifetime. When I grew older, those dreams vanished from the realm of possibility, because I allowed distractions to derail my plans.
As a writer I face that exact same sense of confusion, even now with the release of my first novel only a few weeks away. Yes, I feel pride and fear at the same time. In the end, it'll be fine. I'm confide, because I choose now to believe that.
Thank you, Ksenia, also for recommending The Art Of Asking by Amanda Palmer. I will definitely read that as soon as I can. (Read Ksenia's great blog post here) Before I do, I will more willingly share my 'fucking humanity'. Her words, not mine.